Stupid CoWorkers

Receptionist: Jim Smith, please come to the office, you have a telephone call.

CoWorker: You may want to speak up. Also, if he shows up, I’m getting out of here fast.

Receptionist: Why, don’t you like him?

CoWorker: No, it’s not that at all, it’s just that he’s been dead for over a year.

Stupid CoWorkers

Coworker #1: So I was reading a study the other day that said performing fellatio can cause oral cancer.

Manager: No, that’s not right. Where’d you read that?

Coworker #1: On Facebook!

(lively discussion ensues)

Coworker #1: Oh! I guess I was thinking of HPV, not cancer.

Manager: Well, duh, you puttin’ something dirty in yo mouth, of course you gonna get sick. You gonna put that penny in your mouth?

Coworker #1: No! That’s gross!

Manager: Or that plastic there?

Coworker #1: No! I get it! I forgot it was getting HPV from a dude, not cancer!

(pause)

Coworker #2, chewing on a pen: Does this mean I’m gonna get cancer?

(entire office stares at her)

Coworker #2: From the pen!

Stupid CoWorkers

Coworker: Happy birthday! I hope you like the cake, we got it from your neighbor, you know, the the one who makes cakes.

Annoying coworker: No way! You got it from her, I can’t believe you did that!

(a few minutes later)

Annoying coworker: Why is my piece so big? Stop cutting the pieces so big! I want to take some home! It’s my cake!

Coworker: What? Are you serious? It’s for the office, and this is how we always cut the fucking cake.

Annoying coworker: Ugh! Whatever! It’s my birthday! Why can’t I get some cake to take home!

Coworker: Fine! I’ll wrap up the left overs. Jesus Christ!

(later that day)

Coworker: Here’s the rest of your cake.

Annoying coworker: I don’t want it anymore, I’m not going straight home after work, and I don’t want to carry that around.

Coworker, while walking away: Fucking bitch…