Stupid Students

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check on my student loans request.”

Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”

Student: “I don’t got one.”

Me: “Can I have your first and last name?”

Student: “Yeah.”

(There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)

Me: “Sir, may I get your first and last name?”

Student: *gives name*

(I search for the student, but can’t find him.)

Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”

Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”

Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”

Student: *shocked* “Oh, shit, really?”

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Stupid Customer

(at a buffet-style restaurant where customers line up for the food.)

Manager: “Can you go refill the napkins? We’re all out.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I walk over to the line wearing my work uniform and my ID card prominently displayed.)

Me: “Excuse me, I just need to refill the napkins.”

Customer: “No problem.”

Customer #2: “Why the f*** does everyone keep cutting the line?”

Me: “Sir, I work here. I am just refilling the napkins.”

Customer #2: “Well, that is no excuse! If you work here, you should know to wait your turn!”

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Stupid Customers

(A teenager is trying to buy a cell phone. He has an out of state ID which appears fake. It is brought to me to check it.)

Me: “We can’t accept this ID. It’s not real.”

Customer: “Can you tell me what’s wrong with it compared to a real one, so I’ll know for next time?”

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Stupid Customers

Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

(I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*

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