Stupid Salespeople

Customer: “What does ‘dual-core’ mean?”

Salesman: “It basically means you have two computers in one. It also means you can plug your laptop into it.”

Stupid Customers

Customer: “Hi, I need you to fax something for me.”

Me: “Okay, we actually have a self-serve fax machine right over here.”

(I point to it as I walk over to it from my side of the counter.)

Customer: “But I don’t know how to fax.”

Me: “That’s okay. I’ll show you.”

Customer: “But I’ve never used one of those before.”

Me: “That’s why I’m going to show you how to use it.”

Customer: “No, I can’t, I’m not good with computers.”

Me: “Then you’re in luck: this isn’t a computer. It’s actually just like using a telephone.”

Customer: “Here, you just do it for me.”

Me: “I actually can’t, due to our privacy policy, but I will walk you through it.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how to use it!”

Me: “That’s why I said I would show you…”

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Funny photos and tshirts are at Awzim.com

Stupid Customers

Customer: “Hey there, can you help me find a book?”

Me:“Of course, ma’am. Do you know the author or title?”

Customer: “Well you see, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it! I want that book.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.”

Customer: “Can’t you search on your computer for purple books?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no.”

Customer: “I’ll go to a bookstore that has better computers.”

Stupid CoWorkers

(The office downstairs sometimes calls up to us for tech support. They’re not too great with computers.)

Guy from downstairs: “I think one of the computers has a virus.”

Me: “Ok, which one?”

Guy: “The one in the middle of the office.”

(This seems strange, as I remember that they don’t have any computers in the middle of the room.)

Me: “Have you moved the computers recently?”

Guy: “Yeah, we put it in the middle of the office so the other computers wouldn’t catch the virus!”

(I went downstairs and a disconnected desktop stands in all its glory in the middle of the room. It didn’t have a virus.)