Stupid CoWorkers

Receptionist on phone: I'm going to have Derick wash my bras cause they smell like sour milk.

Art director to photographer: So, how big is your rack?
(rest of table bursts out laughing)
Art director: Okay! I guess we're all 13 here!
Photographer: You gotta admit, that was good.
Art director: Yeah, it was good.
(at the end of photo shoot meeting)
Art director: Don't forget to bring your rack on Friday!

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Buyer: Let me give you my e-mail address and you can forward me the information.
Vendor: Okay, give it to me.
Buyer: m-o-l-i-n-a...
Vendor: Okay, I'ma send that to you.
Buyer: Um, sir, I need to give you the rest of my e-mail address.

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Tester: Please read the top line please.
Young girl taking driving test: (mumbles first few letters together)
Tester: Please speak clearly.
Young girl: I can't read dem words.
Tester: What words?
Young girl: On the top row.
Tester: Honey, those are not words, they are random letters.
Young girl: Oh, really?

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Beauty shop owner: I need to know what day you'll be in to clean the floors, and you'd better stick to it or I'll kill you.
Floor cleaner guy: I've got to die sometime... It might as well as be by your hands

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COO: Hey, Dave*! Larry* just called.
VP: Really, how's he doing?
COO: He said to make sure when I see you to say, "Fuck you, Dave*!"

Customer: “Hey there, can you help me find a book?”

Me:“Of course, ma’am. Do you know the author or title?”

Customer: “Well you see, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it! I want that book.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.”

Customer: “Can’t you search on your computer for purple books?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no.”

Customer: “I’ll go to a bookstore that has better computers.”


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Woman to group: Do you any of you know Sally*?
Group members, shaking heads: No
Woman: Just as well, she just quit.


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Adviser: Okay, is everyone here? Great. So, John*, why don't you tell us what you've worked on this week?
John: Well, I did...
Adviser, interrupting: Actually, John, I'm just going to hummer you for a minute while I show them the data.
Female grad student: Um, what?
Adviser: I'm going to hummer him and just show everyone this, you know, like run over him like a big fucking car.
Female grad student: Uh, okay, but you can't say that.
Adviser: What? Why?
Female grad student: I'll tell you after lab meeting.
Adviser, angrily: What is so bad about saying that? Is it like mean or something to "hummer" someone?
Female grad student: Well it's not mean, it's just... Yeah, don't say that. Ever. We'll talk later.


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Female admin assistant: You know how anal I get when it comes to your work.
Male property manager: It's okay, I love anal!
(coworkers laugh)
Male property manager: Well... That didn't come out right.


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