Welcome to Stupid CoWorkers! This website is to vent and laugh about the dumb people we have to work with everyday at our jobs. So, come back daily for a good chuckle. Also, please submit your own stories about the employers, employees, and co-workers at your job!!
01/30/12: Stupid Customers
Customer: “Hi, I need you to fax something for me.”
Me: “Okay, we actually have a self-serve fax machine right over here.”
(I point to it as I walk over to it from my side of the counter.)
Customer: “But I don’t know how to fax.”
Me: “That’s okay. I’ll show you.”
Customer: “But I’ve never used one of those before.”
Me: “That’s why I’m going to show you how to use it.”
Customer: “No, I can’t, I’m not good with computers.”
Me: “Then you’re in luck: this isn’t a computer. It’s actually just like using a telephone.”
Customer: “Here, you just do it for me.”
Me: “I actually can’t, due to our privacy policy, but I will walk you through it.”
Customer: “But I don’t know how to use it!”
Me: “That’s why I said I would show you…”
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Me: “Okay, we actually have a self-serve fax machine right over here.”
(I point to it as I walk over to it from my side of the counter.)
Customer: “But I don’t know how to fax.”
Me: “That’s okay. I’ll show you.”
Customer: “But I’ve never used one of those before.”
Me: “That’s why I’m going to show you how to use it.”
Customer: “No, I can’t, I’m not good with computers.”
Me: “Then you’re in luck: this isn’t a computer. It’s actually just like using a telephone.”
Customer: “Here, you just do it for me.”
Me: “I actually can’t, due to our privacy policy, but I will walk you through it.”
Customer: “But I don’t know how to use it!”
Me: “That’s why I said I would show you…”
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Funny photos and tshirts are at Awzim.com
01/25/12: Stupid CoWorkers
CoWorker #1: Your body can burn like 5000 calories from breastfeeding in a day.
CoWorker #2: Oh, wow! Can you like breastfeed even if you don't have a baby? That would be a great way to burn calories!
CoWorker #1: Yeah, not sure you would want to... Your boobs will get really big, and you are already big enough.
CoWorker #2: Why do they get so big?
CoWorker #1: Because they are full of milk!
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CoWorker #2: Oh, wow! Can you like breastfeed even if you don't have a baby? That would be a great way to burn calories!
CoWorker #1: Yeah, not sure you would want to... Your boobs will get really big, and you are already big enough.
CoWorker #2: Why do they get so big?
CoWorker #1: Because they are full of milk!
_______
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01/20/12: Stupid CoWorkers
Really Old Coworker #1: What's that girls first name?
Really Old Coworker #2: Who?
Really Old Coworker #1: Jennifer.
Really Old Coworker #2: It's "Jennifer."
Really Old Coworker #1: Thanks!
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Really Old Coworker #2: Who?
Really Old Coworker #1: Jennifer.
Really Old Coworker #2: It's "Jennifer."
Really Old Coworker #1: Thanks!
-------
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01/17/12: Stupid Students
Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”
Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check on my student loans request.”
Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”
Student: “I don’t got one.”
Me: “Can I have your first and last name?”
Student: “Yeah.”
(There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)
Me: “Sir, may I get your first and last name?”
Student: *gives name*
(I search for the student, but can’t find him.)
Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”
Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”
Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”
Student: *shocked* “Oh, shit, really?”
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Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check on my student loans request.”
Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”
Student: “I don’t got one.”
Me: “Can I have your first and last name?”
Student: “Yeah.”
(There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)
Me: “Sir, may I get your first and last name?”
Student: *gives name*
(I search for the student, but can’t find him.)
Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”
Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”
Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”
Student: *shocked* “Oh, shit, really?”
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01/12/12: Stupid Customers
Me: Ma'am, do you have a firewall?
Clueless caller: Yes, the chimney is to my left.
Me: No, no.. On your computer, is there a firewall?
Clueless: The computer is against a wall..
Me: Um. Oh, I know, do you have McAfee?
Clueless caller, excitedly: Yeah, yeah, I have that!
Me: Okay. Well, that's a firewall.
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Clueless caller: Yes, the chimney is to my left.
Me: No, no.. On your computer, is there a firewall?
Clueless: The computer is against a wall..
Me: Um. Oh, I know, do you have McAfee?
Clueless caller, excitedly: Yeah, yeah, I have that!
Me: Okay. Well, that's a firewall.
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01/08/12: Stupid CoWorkers
Office guy, returning from lunch: Did someone take a bite out of my chocolate bar while I was gone?
Office girl, sitting behind him: Your suspicions are correct. Yes, I ate your candy bar. Yes, I bought a new one, bit it down with my teeth and put it back in here. Go ahead and eat it though, it's perfectly safe.
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Office girl, sitting behind him: Your suspicions are correct. Yes, I ate your candy bar. Yes, I bought a new one, bit it down with my teeth and put it back in here. Go ahead and eat it though, it's perfectly safe.
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