The guy in the cubicle next to me: I’ve been cheating on her for the last ten years, she at least deserves a trip to her relatives.
CoWorker: I plan to get drunk and stay drunk all Mother’s Day weekend. I just gotta get someone to watch the kids.
(working in a toy store)
Mom: “We can’t afford eight toys, so pick the 2 you like most and put the rest down”
Boy: “lets just tell dad to not drink any beer this week!”
CoWorker that was getting dropped off at work: “I Love You, Have a Great Day”
CoWorker’s Wife in the car: “You’re an ASS, I HATE YOU!”