Stupid Criminals

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home

parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he

bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an

ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal

gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home’s

sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle

declined to press charges, saying that it was the best

laugh he’d ever had.

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Stupid Criminals

Chicago – A man robbing a dry cleaning store blew off part of one finger with a shotgun, police said. “This is no toy; the gun is loaded,” the robber said to his victims Monday in the Pekin Cleaners on Chicago’s south side. Police said the robber, wearing a red handkerchief over his face and carrying a sawed-off 12-gauge shotgun, then opened the gun to show it was loaded. When he closed it, the weapon fired, taking off two-thirds of the little finger of his left hand. After the gun fired, he took $10 from the cash register and a portable television set from the counter and fled. Police said they recovered the tip of the finger and were able to get a fingerprint. A store employee, Hattie Butler, said she did not realize the robber had injured himself because he did not show any signs of pain.

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Stupid Criminals

Oklahoma City – Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should of blown you [expletive] head off.” The defendant paused, then quickly added, “– if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict Hewton and recommend a 30-year sentence.

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Stupid Criminals

R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver’s license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

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